Communicating in the workplace

Listening sounds simple, but it’s often harder than you think. For example, we often interrupt our conversation partner when we disagree with them. 

Someone who does not get a chance to finish their conversation feels like they’re not being listened to. Furthermore, someone who is interrupted will never believe you have fully grasped their point. 

By allowing the other person to finish their story and listening carefully to the essence of it, your conversation partner will better understand your point. Good listening is essential for understanding a story and asking good questions. This, in turn, deepens the conversation, leading to better ideas and/or better decisions.

Try to avoid just listening and then trying to speak or respond as quickly as possible. You can do this by paying full attention to the other person, asking questions, and perhaps placing a hand or finger over your mouth as a reminder to keep it closed.

In a disagreement between colleagues, there are always two or more sides. If there is no clear choice, it is difficult to make a decision. The best thing to do is not to take sides, but (if possible) to look for a joint solution in that shares similarities rather than differences. It is not always possible, but try to find a win-win situation. Then emphasize the similarities between the two sides so that both parties are involved in the outcome.

If you realize it's not a disagreement, but rather gossip, for example, consider how you would feel if someone talked about you in that way. Don't just go along with it. ‘Talk to someone, not about someone’.

If you want to learn more about the background of a situation or gain insight into what's going on, ask the person(s) involved, questions.

Discussions or meetings often focus on problems and how they arose. While it is certainly valuable to talk about these, the solution is far more important. If the focus is on the problems, there is a good chance that people will point fingers and conflicts will arise. A better approach is to think and communicate in solutions at such times. Solution-focused communication means expressing yourself in the form of solutions. Focusing on solutions paves the way for a positive and effective way to move forward. So, don't put problems on the table, solutions on the table.

If you have no idea what a solution to a problem could be, ask questions again. You might discover a suitable solution, or who knows, you might even get your colleagues thinking about it.

Everybody makes mistakes, including you. If this happens to you while your colleagues are watching, making a mistake is upsetting. It's also possible that your mistake will have unpleasant consequences.

However, not admitting a mistake and/or not apologizing is a much more frustrating. Pride often plays a role in this. If we don't admit our mistakes, we become stuck, stop listening and conflict arises. 

Take responsibility. Be the person who can admit that you were wrong and communicate this. When you do this, you will find that you’re appreciated more quickly, the people involved are happier and the problems become much easier to resolve. Admitting your mistake also immediately gives you the opportunity to come up with a solution.

Being positive is not always easy, everyone has good days and bad days. However, you will find that if you adopt a positive attitude, you will experience a lot of positivity around you. This also works the other way around: a negative attitude attracts negativity. 

By maintaining a positive attitude, you ensure that people see that you are open to interaction. This makes your colleagues feel more comfortable, and they are more likely to open up. Maintain an open body language, use positive language, smile often and make plenty of eye contact. A positive attitude also makes you more enthusiastic about coming to work.

If you find yourself being pulled into negative situations by colleagues or the work environment, ask yourself what you need to get out of this (again). You'll find that if you change or don't go along with this, the other person will be ‘forced’ to communicate or behave differently as well.

Feedback plays a major role in communication. If feedback is given in a negative way, it can cause significant frustration and lead to heated discussions. 

Another major mistake is avoiding feedback. If people in the workplace do not express their negative feedback it certainly does not improve the work atmosphere. A good first step is to ask for feedback on your own behaviour and performance. And yes, critical things will probably come up here too. Try to see this as constructive criticism and accept that others will experience it this way. Keep listening, let it sink in and thank the other person for their opinion. 

By asking for feedback yourself, colleagues will be more receptive to your feedback. Always pay attention to the timing of your feedback. Make sure you have enough time and don't rush it. Furthermore, always discuss the person’s behaviour, not themselves. Find a good balance between positive and negative feedback.

It helps you when you receive or give feedback to stick to the facts and provide examples or ask for them. A comment like ‘you're always late’ generally doesn't help, especially if you happened to be on time today. If you're told, ‘We start here every day at 9:00 a.m., and this week you arrived at 9:30 a.m. on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday,’ this is more targeted, and you can, in this example, look for a solution so you can be on time every day.

Many people in the workplace feel undervalued. Often they are not actually undervalued, but they perceive it that way because appreciation is not communicated often enough. By complimenting your colleagues more often, you show them personal attention and appreciation. This motivates your colleagues and makes you appear attentive and kind. 

Try to compliment clearly and conspicuously. This helps you distinguish between a genuine compliment and a passing remark. Again, avoid gossiping about colleagues at all costs. You will come across poorly and if your colleagues find out you are criticizing behind their backs, you will cause a lot of damage within the company.

When giving feedback, remember: ‘praise in public, punish in private’. In other words, feel free to give a compliment in front of several people, but try to give negative feedback one-on-one.

Some people find it much easier to speak up than others and these same people often take the lead in meetings and discussions. These people often overshadow the more cautious individuals in a meeting. These cautious people often have just as good ideas, arguments and insights as others, but are often too afraid to share them. 

By routinely giving everyone a chance and involving them in meetings, you prevent the cautious colleagues from fading into the background. Give everyone the opportunity to speak up at every meeting and colleagues will be more willing to speak openly. This will likely also improve communication between colleagues. 

Doesn't give everyone you a chance, for example, by dismissing an idea with the remark, ‘We tried it, but it doesn't work here’. Ask questions instead. When was this? What was done then? What worked and what didn't? And why? This will make it easier to assess whether you/your idea deserves a chance after all.

Good communication doesn't mean communicating a lot. Clarity in your communication is better than unnecessarily long or detailed explanations. This prevents confusion and irritation. Focus on the core of your message and communicate initially in a way that immediately conveys the message. Your colleagues can always ask for further calrification.

Keep cultural differences within your organisation in mind. If you only have Dutch colleagues, no one will find it strange if you're direct in your communication. If you work in an international group, this can be more sensitive. Try to figure out the best way to present something.

Departments and teams that collaborate perform better than teams that don't get along. Collaboration is therefore essential in the workplace. One of the most important aspects of effective collaboration is good communication. Therefore, all of the above points naturally apply here.